I lay awake last evening, sleepless, having turned in at 9 p.m., relatively early for a long winter night. The nights, by the way, are getting shorter as the days lengthen and the sun’s warmth gains strength. Maybe that was the cause of mild insomnia, that and the bright moonlight. Regardless, I was awake.
Stuff crossed my mind. Happiness, gardening, work, my new Windows8 upgrade – which brought me back to happiness. Not. It’s a pain, especially when I’m trying to get work done that, up until the upgrade, was relatively routine and automatic, now requiring effort to find a file and get used to all the new prompts of the most current platform. Bad idea to make the switch now, but oh well. So, happiness wasn’t high on the list, but gardening was worth staying awake for. Every year Hospice volunteers grow starts and seedlings for gardeners eager to get an early start on spring planting. It’s a worthy effort toward a worthy cause, and since I enjoy playing in the dirt, I volunteer. I provide seeds and dirt, another volunteer provides the flats and 6-packs. All good.
Again, I came back to happiness. Computers and their workings aside, I contemplated what it took to make me happy or otherwise. I have the normal and usual stressors most adults endure, some more, some less, but overall I’m pretty average in that department. Laying there in bed, with my pillow scrunched up beneath me, I came to appreciate that Zen moment when you feel an equilibrium with everything that has and will and is. To be happy is to appreciate the moment, accept what you cannot change, realize what will and will not kill you, what might make you smile. What’s worth a frown? Considering all the alternatives, there isn’t much out there that’s worth being unhappy about. Sure, I can be sad, but it doesn’t have to be permanent and it doesn’t have to change my outlook. So I accept what comes, knowing tomorrow it won’t be the first thing on my mind when I open my eyes.
Tomorrow it will be a new day that makes me smile. Not the sun, not the snow, not the temperature or the smell of coffee, but just the mere act of waking and knowing the day has been gifted to you. Accept it and it’s yours.